Affirming the NO.

My last couple of days have been full of writing and contacts to further the cause of the 2 non profits.  I ventured into the realm of grant writing.  It is not my favorite thing, but to be present, I must learn to do those things which call me out of my comfort zone. 

I spoke to a wonderful woman tonight that helped me articulate what I am called to do right now, she gave me a chance to further some training that I may pursue, in the future…not now.  That is huge.  To have someone willing to talk with me and help me articulate what may or may not be what i am to do.  Sometimes it hurts to hear or to even ask for the truth….I did that the last 2 years of my Seminary career and no one could tell me that I was NOT to do something…Affirmation upon  affirmation can feel like awesome pressure and left me so confused as to whether the could do is a should do.  I do not want to simply serve because I could do something…the truth is, I could do many things, but I seek knowing what I should do…to be used in such a way as to be a light and inspiration to others.  I yearn to see growth and be part of something expanding and changing…i yearn to be with others who also yearn…passionately to work and dream and vision together…to see results.  I am grateful for the courage this person had to talk the truth with me.  I hope that i am able to receive wisdom from others and that I will have the courage to come alongside others if they ask.

As i continue to seek the true path…the finances piece I pray will come to fruition.  I must remember as Henri Nouwen says, I am not what my job is, my training, my education, or what other people say that I am.  If I can wrap my head around that concept, I may understand the purity of human want and need.  I think, that will be an ever-evolving process.  So, 10 days before I graduate, the most I know is that I am called to be a Writing, Speaking, Community Chaplain/Advocate.  Any more than that remains…….not in my hands.  I must learn to be content with that.  Anyone got tips on that process?




1 Comment (+add yours?)

  1. cindythea
    Dec 24, 2011 @ 10:03:05

    thank you for your kind words. I am new to this genre, so trying my hand at it to see what develops. I welcome comments and suggestions anytime! Merry Christmas.


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