When the screams give way to blood….

I spoke with another Gen Xer, father to 4 children, accomplished career man and husband the other day.  Aside from the stimulating and intellectual conversation was  the general banter of children and their antics.

I giggled when he mentioned the 3 boys in his house and the fact that his wife thinks their daughter is far more work than the other 3 combined.  I laughed as I contemplated my life with girls instead of boys in my house.  I have to confess that I have no clue what i would do.  I shake my head as I sit and hear my boys taking off after each other and screaming that they plan to maim the other one.  I cannot count how many times I have reprimanded either one or both for jumping off, on, and over the furniture.  Within minutes of a house or table being cleared, it is all a jumble again….the bumps, slugs, farts, belches, and all other manner of bodily functions get quite old, especially at the supper table.

There is never a day that I am not asked at least 10 times what my favorite Star Wars clone warrior is, or which of the Dark side characters is my all time favorite. I can name most of the X-men, in fact one of my children is named Xavier.  I know to wait to ask about a Lego ship before it is complete as to its purpose.

I think the most disturbing of the behavior is their propensity to strangle, beat, climb on, and basically wrestle one another to the ground at every possible moment.  I do not understand the need to turn every item in their hand into a gun, I do not know why they must terrorize the dog…This gentleman seemed quite  non perplexed by my quandary.  I have never taught them to fashion everything into warfare or a gun.  I truly felt like I have done something wrong as I watch these 2 boys try to kill each other on a daily basis.  He laughed at me.  May I repeat, he laughed.

He laughed and told me that it is something innate within the male nature.  WHAT!!!!!  You’re saying that for the next 10 years I will referee the bumps and clunks and navigate the ER doors as I bring in yet another broken bone?  You mean no new furniture or precious breakables to adorn my house?  Seriously???  Indeed.  As he mentioned that he has 3 boys, he listens to their screams and comments…once he can tell that the brawl gives way to really trying to hurt one another, he intervenes.  Wow.  So, men and boys need this type physical bopping each other alongside the head?  They need to wrestle each other to the ground in order to tell each other they love their sibling?  Really?  Do they outgrow this habit?  Rumors confirm that is not the case.

HHHHm,,,,. so what is the mom’s approach and solution?  I know not, but I guess for now I will keep a large bottle of Tylenol and ace bandages handy.  In the meantime, all you with girls, keep your flat irons and midol in easy reach…something tells me this parent thing is a bumpy ride.

Shalom Y’all



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