A teaser

I have thought about this story for as long as I can remember.  Somehow, I knew that when the time came, there would be nothing to stop it from spilling forth. The thoughts may be similar in some ways, but the story and the journey is mine. Others may find themselves within these pages, but the experiences are completely personal and individual. Many of the stories that I will share are difficult to write and may be difficult to read, but I invite you to let them pour over you like warm honey, soothing the sore places in your soul.
I sit alone on a bed with no sound to penetrate my concentration and a fuzzy Z blanket draped over my legs, reminding me of the love of some wonderful people in my life. This blanket came to me at a particularly rough time when a good friend decided I needed the comfort of a soft blanket, organic chocolate, and Johnny Depp. My youngest son named it fuzzy Z since it looks a bit like a zebra. I have slept with this blanket every night since I received it.
I have fought for 37 years for the right and permission to say these words, now the time has come. I have talked many times about putting my thoughts to paper.  I fought it, screamed, kicked, and threw temper tantrums like a 2-year-old to avoid doing what I was called to do. Today, I threw almonds at dear friend and mentor in an effort not to follow through on a challenge. It is unavoidable that the time is now.

The title is one I have pored over for as long as I have thought of writing. I never liked the words submission or obedience. I hated being told what to do or how to do it, and I got so I was good at anticipating what others would ask of me. Obedience and submission implied that if I did not do something as someone else wanted or dictated, I suffered the wrath. I had experienced this enough in my life to know that if I played the game I would fly under the radar unscathed. My own personality soon brought me to an understanding that I do not want someone telling me what to do or how to do it. I want my own chances and I never wanted a definition or placement in a box, yet I fought like a cat in heat to find my place. I scratched and clawed my way to a place where I could do nothing but submit to something bigger than I thought I was. I came face-to-face with me.

 

The preceding is part of the intro to a book I am writing.  Let me know what you think…I would appreciate comments as I am hoping the finished product finds a publisher.  The artist in me is scared beyond belief to put any of this out there, yet the writer in me is compelled….that is all i know.

Shalom,

 

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