Missed Deadline…

Of all the papers I’ve written and deadlines I’ve had before me, I never failed to meet one…until yesterday.  I was issued  challenge right before Christmas to have my book: A Willing Submission, done for January 20th.  I have the intro and 2 chapters almost completed…2 chapters of 13.  I failed to meet this deadline….Damn.

I have no clue how to feel about this…part of me considers it partial failure, another part of me chalks it up to a standard I knew I could not meet.  Maybe I did it on purpose, knowing full well that I could not follow through…maybe I am just full of crap and this was another “wouldn’t it be nice” projects.

As a writer I am torn.  On one hand I am scared out of my mind to put it out there, to have it reviewed and ripped apart and criticized.  I can remember the words of my parents echo in my head…”.Ah, another 2nd place trophy this weekend.  Couldn’t get first this weekend, huh?”  Words meant as a joke still cut deep and cause me to work and work and work to maintain the highest standard possible.  There is no way I could meet it.   If critcized does that mean that it is not good?  On the other hand..what if it is ok?  What if the dreams I dream could come true?  What happens if the wings spread and fly?

I am not sure what I am thinking…how to approach a missed deadline.  I just know it is what it is….seeking each day the courage to do what I know I am asked to do.  I guess that is all any of us can do.

Shalom,

cahl

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